REVERB 13 Day 16 Habits and Addictions

Michael writes:

Habits and addictions, some are silly, some serious; when we have issues without answers, they can hold us so tight that we stop moving forward with the life we intended.

Were you able to loosen those fetters this year, and if you were successful, how did you manage it? Did you accept outside help, or work alone?

If you still feel that grasp of addiction or hurtful habits, what will you do differently in the year to come?

I just read a few of Michael's blogs and oh my what a way with words he has. That I could write like that would be a dream come true. But now...on with the task of writing about my habits and addictions. 

So here I go with some of my worst habits.

First on my list of many is expecting too much of people, including myself and being so very disappointed and sometimes hurt when they or I do not live up to my expectations. I am trying hard to stop this habit, especially with myself. Learning to let be what is. Finding the positives in the negatives of life and learning to deal with all of them.

Letting go is another problem I have. I get very attached to things and have a hard time letting them out of my control which is another of my little quirks. 

I like being in control whether it be of things or what ever else. I have, for as long as I can remember,  liked being in control and this has over the years caused me many problems, headaches and work. When you are in control you need to be completely in control. At least I do so that means doing everything myself. As if no one else can do it as well as me...I could go on an on but I am trying to let go of the negative in my life so will let this rest...and go on to addictions.

Which I guess the worst of them is being addicted to collecting. My daughter worries I will become a hoarder but don't think there is any worries there. I am too much of a neat freak and need to have things orderly and in place which causes me to occasionally clean and purge which leads me back to the 'letting go' issue. Soon as I let it go I need it or want it back. Then 'control' pops it's ugly head up and suddenly I am on the same old merry go round of collecting, purging and regretting...so in the coming year I will...

I will not lower my expectations but will instead try harder to understand and to not be too disappointed if people or things do not work out as I expected.

I will continue on my quest of letting go of things I no longer need or want knowing that by doing so some one else will be able to either use or enjoy or both. 

I will try to understand that having control is not always the best path and that there are others quite capable of doing it just as well. The only control I will not give up is of my life. Because! If I do not take charge of my life some one else will.

I will continue to stop taking everything offered me just because it is offered "because I might need it later". Gathering and collecting only what I can use now for creating. Knowing that there is time later to get the other 'stuff.' Unless of course it is a one of a kind. (smile) That way I can use some of the 'stuff' I have already. 

Once I let go of something I will not want it back or regret having gotten rid of it...

By working on all of these issues and others in the coming year I will finally have the freedom to be myself and not be encumbered with the burden of regret, disappointment or guilt. I will be free to enjoy life at it's fullest. I will be a better 'me'.