AUGUST MOON Day 11

August Moon

Celebrate

Meredith & Kat write:

Thank you for journeying with us through this magical time! We've been so grateful for all of you, especially those of you who have shared your musings over here at August Moon 13 HQ.

Today, we'd like you to find a small way to celebrate all you have summoned and all you have leaned into and all that you manifested over the past ten days. It could be a quiet walk in nature, a tiny talisman purchased to represent your dreams going forward, a confidence in a trusted friend.

Whatever it is, please take the time to honour your courage and creativity as you planted the seeds for a flourishing future.

Thank you Kat and Meredith for offering this challenge to write a little about our lives, feelings, creativity, courage and aspirations for our futures. I have enjoyed reading the writing of others that posted for all to see and especially have been inspired by their thoughts and dreams during this magical  time of our 'blue moon'. I have learned I am not alone in the negative thoughts that have plagued me my whole life and appreciate the insights I have gleaned by reading other's blogs.

For 11 days, I have created the habit of writing each night and hope to keep up with my blog. Even if it is just a word or two to encourage me to leave behind all the negatives in my life and continue on this positive path I have embarked on. A year from now I hope to be able to go back and  read of the things I wrote and know I have followed through with them.

I don't know yet how I am going to celebrate but it will come to me in due time and when it does I will enjoy every moment of it. Whether it be a small celebration with only myself or one I share is yet to be learned. In the meantime I will move forward and continue on my path to a 'flourishing future'.

Where Did She Come From

Where did she come from this old woman who's me?
As I peer in the mirror who is that I see?
I looked really close thinking it was a mistake
for it wasn't the young woman I thought was me.
Looking back was an old woman in a body that aches.

Where did she come from this old woman who's me?
How did she manage to take over my life?
It seemed like only yesterday
I took a vow and became a young wife.
Now look at me all wrinkled with hair turned grey.

Where did she come from this old woman who's me?
Who never seems to feel complete?
Always wanting to be where she is not.
Though she loves a man who is so sweet
she still dreams of a life she never got.

Where did she come from this old woman who's me?
With fingers that hurt when they have to bend
as she tries to do the things she loves best.
Having to say goodbye to another good friend
yet knowing she has truly been blest.

Where did she come from this old woman who's me?
Who once dreamed of a life sailing the high seas
though with him by her side she is fulfilled and content.
Now when she looks in the mirror she feels quite at ease
knowing he sees only the young bride for who he was meant.

Where did she come from this old woman who's me?
She comes from her past,  a past full of dreams.
Those lines in her face show her hopes, her happiness,
her sadness and despair. A life fulfilled and always it seams
a life held precious.
That's where she came from, this old woman who looks back at me.

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON DAY 10

August Moon 

If you had one wish – guaranteed to be fulfilled by the end of 2013 – what would it be?

I have tried  to think of only one wish for myself  that would be guaranteed to be granted but if I truly could have anything I wanted here is what it would be.

IF I AM ALLOWED

If I am allowed only one freedom, let it be freedom of thought;
for then I will never be in bondage.

If I am allowed only one teacher, let him be wise;
for with wisdom all things are possible.

If I am allowed only one feeling, let it be love;
for then I too will be loved.

If I am allowed only one companion, let him have compassion;
for then I will learn to be compassionate.

If I am allowed only one vision, let it be a rainbow;
for then I will know the glory of all Gods colors.

If I am allowed only one touch, let it be that of a baby;
for then I will know life goes on.

If I am allowed only one gift, let it be a book;
for then I will have the knowledge of others.

If I am allowed only one weapon, let it be words;
for they are the most powerful instrument on earth.

If I am allowed only one smell, let it be the earth after a rainfall;
for then I will know there is a place for me.

If I am allowed only one sound, let it be a bird singing;
for then I will know life is beautiful.

If I am allowed only one hatred, let it be of ignorance;
for then we will all be equal.

If I am allowed only one desire, let it be to pass on what I have learned;
for then I will know why I am here.  

Darlene Sperber
    

AUGUST MOON Day 9

August Moon

Goals

There are only four months left of 2013. Have you accomplished your goals for the year?

What do you need to prioritize to end the year on a high note?

I think I did okay on completing most of my goals for the year. I won't go into the ones I did or did not accomplish since they have already been addressed in one way or another. I have either ignored them for whatever reason or I am working on them. But to accomplish the important ones for the coming year and to end this year on a positive note I have started doing some of the things I didn't do before.

I am trying to stay positive with my thoughts, actions and emotions and making sure I have time each day for myself. I will make sure to fit in some social activities for hubby and I to enjoy together as often as possible  and I will make time for an artist date every week. Just for me! I will laugh more and not be embarrassed if I feel a need to cry.  I will not allow myself to be disappointed in anything that is not in my control. I will continue to make my health a huge priority even if it means seeing a doctor, eating right and making sure I get enough exercise. I will work hard to keep up with my journal(ing)  as it keeps me grounded. Then, if at the end of the next year I have not completely accomplished all of my goals, I will know I have tried my best. 

The most important thing I need to do to accomplish my goals is to prioritize my time...

If Only

If only I could find some time

to sit and write a little rhyme

of places I would like to go

but first I need to sit and sew.

If only I could find some time

I would sit and write a little rhyme

about people I would like to meet

my oh my wouldn't that be sweet

If only I could find some time

to sit and write a little rhyme

to all the friends I would like to see

then we could visit over a cup of tea

If only I could find some time

I would sit and write a little rhyme

about all the things I want to do

but I will have to bid you all adieu

Since I just can't find any free time

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON Day 8:

August Moon Day 

Letting Go

What are three things you would like to let go of before the year is out? See if you can list three physical things and three emotional ones.

For bonus points: conduct a burning ceremony or release your secrets into nature by writing them onto leaves/stones and dropping them into the nearest river/ocean.

Letting go of physical things is pretty easy. I would like to let go of a few pounds for one. And be able to lose them permanently.

The second thing I would like to let go of is the negative feelings I have about seeing a doctor. The feeling that they order so many test for no reasons other than to pad their bill. 

Last but not least is to let go of this obsession I have with collecting 'stuff'. It used to be fun to collect it and a topic of conversation with people I would meet when they would ask what I did. I would hand them my card that had my name along with "collector and creator of stuff." But now my 'stuff' is taking over my life, my thoughts and my space. I need to stop collecting and start using. 

Emotionally I have a lot of things I would like to be rid of before the year is over with. But for starters I will address the pounds again. I have learned I am an emotional eater so I would like to let go of the obsession I have with food. The first thing I think of in an emotional situation is to head to the kitchen. I feel like 'food' can fix anything. need to stop that.

I would like to let go of the ache to live elsewhere and just be happy where I am now. I dream of the Pacific Northwest, I smell it in the air and I see it in the clouds. I miss it terribly but know you can't go home. It will never be the same as it was before so I need to just stop. I need to finally admit to myself that where I am is where I am going to stay.  

I need to let go of the feelings that no matter what I do it is not quit good enough.

Friday I am going to conduct a 'burning ceremony' and get rid of all the negatives in my life...once and for all..

Oh No!

I stepped on the scales and what did I see
A whole bunch of numbers all of them threes
I felt so humiliated I punished myself
By eating all the chocolate left on the shelf.

Now I am shopping for a pretty swim suit.
Wishing instead of chocolate I had eaten some fruit.
I whispered to the clerk, "Does it come in my size?"
"Not as long as you insist on eating French fries!"

I left that store with my spirits so low
and as fate would have it I stumped my toe.
I got caught off balance and fell on my face
so they used a crane to lift me, oh what a disgrace.

I rode in that wagon, to the hospital I went
realizing I was tired of wearing Omar's tents.
The next time I shop for a suit to swim in
I'll be wearing a thong and showing some skin.

I've learned a hard lesson one that will last
That once in a while it's good to go on a fast
Never again will I need food for a crutch
When I choose my food I'll use a soft touch

When next you see me walk into that store
I won't need to use the big double door.
That pretty little swim suit I wanted so bad
I'll buy two, one with flowers and one in plaid.

Then I will meet my friends, we'll have a light lunch
and hang out together, we're a pretty good bunch.
We support each other in all our endeavors
Skinny friends we'll be forever and ever.

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON Day 7

August Moon Day

Opportunity

What once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity(ies) came your way so far?

I have been thinking about this blog all day and finally came up with an opportunity I never thought I would get to do. It was on my bucket list but like so many things I have on there I know in my heart I will not get to do them. But this one happened last May. My daughter and son in law gave us, Bob and I , a ride in a hot air balloon.

All aboard!

Here we are getting loaded up. We had the largest hot air balloon in the USA with 24 people in our basket. There are no doors to open so you can just step in. You have to climb over the top with no hand holes. Since everyone was so considerate and we were probably the oldest people in the basket  I got to be the first one in...How not fun that was but I made it. Ungracefully.... 

We are laughing at how funny it was to see me trying to get in the basket. What a sight to behold.

Firing up the jets

 We are getting ready for lift off. The jets are going full blast and the balloon is starting to rise.

Lift off

Great view from up here

Coming in for a landing

All too soon it is over

Touchdown

And an hour later it was over but the ride was incredible and the weather was perfect. Then followed a lovely buffet breakfast since we had to get started at 5 in morning. After that we spent the weekend in Orlando just having fun and going to places I have not been. It was a wonderful time. 

AUGUST MOON 13 Day 6

August Moon Day

Zeniths and Nadirs

Where have the highlights and low points been for you so far in 2013? Where are you now?
How would you like your year to end?

Thinking back over the year I think the highlight was my trip to San Francisco in February with my oldest daughter to visit her youngest son, my grandson. We spent 8 days there, staying in her vacation condo right in the middle of town within walking distance of all the tourist sights like China Town etc. My Grandson, picked us up at the airport and worked down close to the waterfront just a few miles away as the crow flies but walking up and down hills we found out the hard way it was over 5 miles.  We had purchased a 7 day travel pass and stayed to visit with him where he worked tending bar and did not want to start the pass until the next day so it would last us the whole time we were there. Plus we had just spent hours on the flight from Orlando to our destination in San Francisco so the walk back would do us both good. Or so we thought...After leaving him at his bar we decided it was not so far so we would just walk to the condo. I think every road in San Francisco goes up hill...we walked forever, finally getting to the condo with our butts dragging. Slept good that night.

While we were there we visited as many sights as we could fit in and some we had not planned on but were able to be cause of my grandson being our tour guide. On my bucket list was to walk the Golden Gate Bridge which  we did...over and back. The weather was perfect and the crowds were minimal.  We watched the America's Cup boats practicing on the bay, saw dolphins at play and watched a bank of fog roll in from the ocean. What a beautiful experience it was.

I have had many more wonderful experiences during the year but this was an unexpected surprise for me.

The lowest time for me was when my good friend passed away so suddenly. It was not unexpected as she had a heart problem from her early years and she knew her time was limited. But she went to bed one night feeling great and never woke up. I will say that is the way to do it when your time comes. I am glad she had a peaceful passing but I do miss her. Each Friday morning Bob would leave for his volunteer job at the hospital and she would come over and together we would talk, sew or do some other art project together. I still miss her all these months later and still have that expectation of her popping in for coffee and visiting. Another friend told me that was why I get so 'down' each week. It seems to always happen on fridays. She is probably right. 

Right now I am in a good place. Tying up loose ends and finishing up with the groups I am leaving behind. Working on getting caught up with my Life Book pages and making my plans for the coming year.I am planning, by the time this year ends, I will have shed a few pounds, walked more than a few miles, created some wonderfully fun art pieces for my yard and made more good memories with my family.

My Dream Vacation

Where would I go for a vacation of my dreams?

Perhaps a ride on a train powered by steam
up the highest mountain to look far and wide
at a wagon pulled by mules hooked as a team
to cross the vast plains where after a storm I could ride
smoothly down a rainbow's deep purple beam.

Then I'd drop off the face of this planet earth
to soar through space and watch the universe giving birth
and I will  ride a falling star as new planets are taking their place
while novas get lost deep in space.

Perhaps in my travels I will see
Why mankind prefers to be free
or learn some of the great mysteries of the age
and know why it is wars men must wage.

I would then return to earth to pass on to all
how though we live in a vastness we are so small.
Yet such a difference we each can make
if for a moment of time we will all take.

To make sure all God's creatures are lovingly cared for.
Especially those we deem to be the poor.
And remember that those who look different from us
Are parts of God's plan in which we place our trust.

For it will matter not if we are Christian, Muslin or Jew.
This is the way my dream vacation will come true.

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON DAY 13 DAY 5

Have you developed new yearnings so far this year? Let go of old ones?

August Moon day

Yearnings

 Yearning for time...Yearning for freedom!

Because of being involved  with my ASG sewing group I have felt so encumbered by the amount of time required to keep up with the myriad of charity projects the group has taken on. It was one of the reasons I withdrew from ASG a couple of years ago. Why I thought it would be any different I don't know but it hasn't changed at all. I always try to do what I can and help those who need a helping hand but again I feel completely bogged down in charity. Yet I look at all the wonderful items the different members make for the local charities, schools and Salvation Army 'back to school' clothes and I am ashamed for feeling that way. 

Because of my feelings I started asking around to see how they get so much sewing done in their days when I get so little done and now I feel better ..The ones who do all the sewing have nothing else to do in their lives. They sew! That is their hobby and life. 

But it is not the life I want...so my need to be free of that obligation has led me to give notice to the group that I am withdrawing from ASG as of the end of this year. I am not renewing my membership.Now I will have time to actually sew the things I have been wanting to sew...Things for myself or for gifts.

That is what I am letting go of this year...being obligated to others. For the coming year I will  work on the goals I have set for myself for the new year and enjoy every moment of my new found freedom. I will be obligated only to myself. 

Yay for time...Yay for freedom!

I wrote this poem in 2007 after receiving an award for putting in more than 1000 hours doing charity work. I do not want any more awards.

Charity, Thy Name is Abused

Charity, thy name is abused, too many needs

time is running out, I have no more to give

I can't say no, "ask me no more...."

Unwed mother of six, asking for more

I give and give but then you want more 

I can't say no, "ask me no more...."

Homeless, in need of a coat, meal and a bed

a place to sit and eat, perhaps even sleep

I can't say no, "ask me no more...."

Abused child, living in fear of it's life

a safe haven where she can spend the night

I can't say no, "ask me no more...."

A siren wailing in the air, a mother's son

has lost his life, too many needs 

I can't say no, "ask me no more"

Charity, thy name is abused

too many needs, I can't fix them all 

time has run out, I have no more to give

I've learned I can't say no so "ask me no more...."

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON 13 Day 4

What word did you choose as your travelling companion in 2013? How is it working for you? Where have the surprises been?

If you didn’t choose a guiding word, what word sums up your year so far? And why?

AUGUST MOON DAY 

COURAGE

After putting much thought into this prompt I have decided my guiding word for the year is “courage.”

I have finally have the courage to face some health issues I have tried to sweep under the rug hoping they would magically disappear but haven’t so now I am dealing with them. Nothing as extreme as some of my friends are facing but never the less it is something I have to face and conquer…and conquer I will…That is part of my stubborn streak coming through.

I am learning to say “no” without making any excuses for why I am saying “no.” I have spent so many hours of my life doing things I did not want to do but felt obligated to because I was ask to do them. Sometimes I would try to get out of doing something by saying I was too busy, too many other obligations, even being out of town at the time…whatever I could think of that might get me off. Finally I have had the courage to just say “no.” And if ask why I just say, "I choose not to." That took a lot of courage to get to this point in my life.

I have always been a ‘fixer’ in my family if there was some little or big issue that needed to be ‘fixed’. I would plan my strategies and events and work my butt off to make it work so the issues and problems would get ‘fixed’. Finally I realize I am not responsible for all or even part of everyone else’s problems. I do not need to 'fix' everything any longer. Now I just let them run their course knowing they will get taken care of the way they are meant to be taken care of…I may not always like the end result but it is as it is supposed to be. That took a great deal of courage on my part. To just keep my mouth shut and just let it happen.

Last on my list of courageous things for me is being an artist. It took me years, most of my life time, but I have finally had the courage to call myself an artist. I have also figured out that I am not fickle but that I am a mixed media artist which gives me the freedom to play at what suits my fancy at the moment without having to explain to any one ‘why’. I do what I do because I want to.

Illusion 

daylight hides

in a lake

of molten sun

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON 13 Day 3

August Moon Day

 Blessings

Sometimes we get too caught up with life's circumstances. Count the blessings you've had to be grateful for this year.

I have been so blessed it will be hard to count all of them. I grew up as a middle child with all the pitfalls that entails. I played second fiddle to my older sister who was also the oldest grandchild and I was always overshadowed by my brother, the only boy and little sister, who was of course the baby. Because of that I learned early on how to compromise in life and I had a stubborn streak that got me in as much trouble then as it does now. But it has taught me tenacity and endurance which has served me well throughout my 70 plus years. In hindsight I would have to say that being a middle child was a blessing for me.

 As an adult I am blessed with a wonderful husband who supports and encourages me in everything I decide to undertake which is most anything new to me. I have a loving and healthy family of 4 children, 2 sons and 2 daughters and now I have 4 granddaughters and 6 grandsons. In the past two years our family has grown even more by the addition of 2 great granddaughters and 1 great grandson.

I am blessed the luxury of being able to do almost everything I have ever wanted to do. I still have a few things on my bucket list but I am looking forward to doing them if time allows and it is in my power to do so.

I have been blessed with many friends over the years though I am sorry we have often been remiss in staying touch after moving to a new area. 

I have had the good fortune to have lived in many different places with my all time favorite being the Pacific Northwest in state of Washington with Germany running a close second.

I feel compassion for those who are less fortunate than I am although sometimes, in the middle of a massive project, when I am tired and frustrated by what I committed myself to do, I feel this compassion is not a blessing but a curse. Still, I count my blessings that I am in the giving end and not the receiving end of the charity work I do. 

I have an insatiable curiosity, a love of reading and learning and a long list of activities I enjoy. Fortunately I am blessed with a strong healthy body that allows me to enjoy and pursue these activities and my hobbies of sewing, cooking, mixed media art and writing. Now if I could just fit a love of exercise into the hobbies I enjoy my life would be perfect.

Here are my blessings in a nutshell so to speak.

NO TIME TO WORRY

What have I done with all of my years?
Did I make good impressions and leave them behind
along with my childhood, along with my fears.
There were times when I thought I had lost my mind.
No time to worry, no time for tears.

I married young, became a wife
to a hardworking man, I could ask for no better.
Together we made a very good life
and once I even tried to knit him a sweater.
No time to worry, no time for strife.

Soon came four children, my life was strange.
Cooking and cleaning and working all day.
Sometimes I just wanted my life to exchange
because it left me no time for myself, no time to play.
No time to worry, everything will change.

The children all grew into fine young adults
No more cooking and cleaning and working all day,
or worrying if they would run off and join any cults.
Now it's just the two of us having fun at play
and all we have to worry about is the doc's results!

But! No time to worry, life is too short.
Just have fun and be a good sport!

Darlene Sperber

AUGUST MOON '13 Day 2

August Moon 

Seize the season

"We are about to enter into a gentler season i.e. Autumn/Fall if you're in the Northern Hemisphere, Spring if you're in the Southern Hemisphere. For me, these seasons often feel like a relief after the intensity of Summer and Winter. How do you intend to transition into the new season?"

4 o'clocks growing under a totem of stacked chairs

I live in Florida so my soon to be fall season has not changed much from the intense heat we get this time of year but I do have plans for the upcoming cool seasons.

I am allergic to the sun, breaking out in an itchy rash every time I spend a few minutes in it. Even sun screen does not always stop it completely so I stay indoors most of the warm weather time when the sun is at its worst. I get ‘cabin fever’ during the summer instead of winter. Because of that I am looking forward to spending some time outdoors.

I will be doing some art I have put off waiting for cool weather and shade to arrive again in my outdoor studio. The most ambitious art project will be re-making my bottle wall that did not hold up as well as I wished it would have considering the work my husband put into it. There are other smaller art projects but that is the biggest one on my list.

Because I hate the word exercise and have been very lax in getting enough of it, exercise is very high up on my list of priorities for the coming season and hopefully far beyond. I will start by walking each day and progress to bike riding.

I will be working into my daily agenda a time to meditate and cleanse the soul so that I am more open to ideas and inspiration.

Also very high up on my list of things to do is to pay better attention to my general physical health by eating better and more healthy.

So for me it will be, more art, more exercise, more relaxing. All of those wishes will create a more healthy well rounded mind, body and soul. That is what I have on my wish list for the fall and winter and spring

AUGUST MOON '13 Day 1

August Moon 

 Intentions

I wrote this poem a few years ago and it seems so fitting to use it  on the first day of our BLUE MOON challenge 

MY WISH FOR ME

This is my year to be selfish,
to do what comes to my mind.
This is what would be my wish
if I could have a wish of any kind.

I've always dreamt of having a space
to spend time creating my art.
One I can call my very own place
from life and troubles apart.

No laundry to do, no meals to cook
no demands to be made on my time.
A place to curl up with a good book
or a table to pen a new rhyme.

Telephones and cell phones would be taboo,
no television would ever come on.
I would welcome a friend to stop in for a brew
as long as by sundown they were gone.

With pencil and pen I would write and draw
or a brush in my hand would paint.
With only my muse to critique the flaws
I would never listen to a complaint.

From artist clay I would sculpt a bust.
With machine a quilt I would sew.
Nothing would ever collect dust
now my creative juices are a flow.

I never cared about fortune or fame
only the ideas that fill my psyche.
I don't care if any one remembers my name
this is just a wish made for me.

Darlene Sperber
June 2, 2010

 “How have you treated yourself this year? Have you kept your intentions?

 I have created space to work on the things that interest me, a place to do art, a place to sew and a place to have quiet time to myself so I have treated my creative self very well and most of the time my emotional self has been well taken care of but I have not been good to my physical self. I have spent too much time reading about what is good for me and what to do to stay healthy but not enough time actually following through with the good intentions of eating right and exercising. I have learned reading about it just does not cut it.

So yes, for the most part I have treated myself good but no, I have not kept all my intentions. This is changing. I am removing myself from many organizations that are zapping my time and energies with no satisfaction coming from them and prioritizing my wants and needs so in the coming year I will be better able to keep my intentions and reach my goals. I am doing more of what makes me happy!